When Life Hurts

“It’s amazing how fast your life can change.”

That’s what my good friend, Julie, said yesterday in ICU.

Thursday night she was in a car accident and was knocked unconscious. It was a scary night for all of her friends and family, and I couldn’t go to sleep until I found out that she had regained consciousness and was going to be okay, so I got 2 or 3 hours of sleep that night. Then I went to see her in ICU Friday morning with a couple other friends. They took the ventilator off right before we went in to see her. Her eyes were swollen shut so she couldn’t see us, and she couldn’t talk so she had to write everything. It was really hard for me; I can’t stand to see people hurting, especially people that I love, like Julie. I’ve never had anyone that close to me get hurt like that. I was always the one in the emergency room with a bloody face. It is so much easier for me to deal with my own pain than to see someone else in pain. I wish I could be stronger…If you need a friend to cry with you, I am the person to call; but when I am in ICU with my best friend, I’m not very good at being composed.

When I left the hospital, I got in my car, called my mom, and cried like a baby. Way to go, Lauren. I had to go home and pull myself together before I could go to work. Then I had to fight the winter weather to get to work, and I hadn’t even been at work 10 minutes before my boss called a staff meeting and gave a huge speech about his expectations, and how he wanted his firm to be run, and how he wanted us to treat each other, etc. I was like, seriously?? Do we have to have this speech now, because I don’t even want to be here right now since my friend is in ICU.

I don’t mean to be disrespectful, because I’m glad he said all that, and it should have been said a long time ago, but my mind was not at work…I couldn’t focus all day long. I was so distracted, I tried to use my desk phone as a calculator…hmmm doesn’t work out so well lol. Friday was not a good day.

I went to see Julie again Saturday morning, and it was a little easier. She had one eye open and she was able to talk to us; it was good for me to hear her voice again.

I’m so grateful that she’s going to be okay. She won’t have to have surgery, and they moved her out of ICU. She started rehab which is not at all fun, so it’s going to be hard, but I just keep trying to focus on God’s plan through this situation.

I read through the sermon notes I had written when Jack Hagar talked about valleys. He said valleys are inevitable and impartial, but they are temporary. When we walk through valleys, our focus should be on God’s power, not on our problem. When we are weak, He is strong. Success in the crisis will never happen until there is success in the process.

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song called “Jesus Will Meet You There” after he lost his little girl, Maria. One of the lines in the song says “Whatever valley you must walk through, Jesus will meet you there.” If he can say that, and trust God’s faithfulness after losing a child, then can’t I trust Him with the valleys I am facing?? Jesus will meet you at work, He will meet you at the hospital, “Whatever road this life takes you down, Jesus will meet you there.” I totally believe it.

BTW, if you haven’t listened to SCC’s album called “Beauty Will Rise,” you should check it out. It has great songs with powerful messages. It's almost all I've listened to for the last two months. I love it. :)

cereal bars and girl scout cookies

I'm stuck at work...again. This winter weather is bad enough that I can't go home for lunch today, so here I am at my desk deciding how I want to ration my cereal bars and girl scout cookies so I can get through the day without fainting from starvation. It won't kill me, I know...but I only got a muffin for breakfast so I'm rather hungry already...and it's only noon...sigh. I should look on the bright side and be grateful that I have a chance to update my blog because I'm always so busy that I don't get to do post. We did finally get internet at our new house, so maybe I will be better about posting...and I might even get a Facebook account now!!

If I can only survive the next 10 weeks, I will be doing good, and if I survive with my sanity intact, it will be a miracle!!

Okay, I'm getting REALLY HUNGRY!!!

Church was really good yesterday...my pastor was talking about how it's time to stop "playing church." We need to get serious about our Christian life and examine what we are doing that will count in eternity. It was very challenging, and gave me a lot to think about. I've really been praying about what God's will is for me this year...What is my purpose here? hmmm....It's kinda hard to focus on eternity when I don't even know how I will make it home tonight lol...

DREAM

"It will cost you nothing to dream; it will cost you everything not to." ~Unknown

Forgiven

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness a lot this week…God’s forgiveness. He will never make fun of what I used to be like, He will never bring up my past, and He doesn’t see me for what I was, He sees what I am…and I’m forgiven!!

God loves me because of Who God is, not because of anything I have or have not done.

Praise God for new beginnings and second chances!!


My past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again.
I’m reminded of the wrong,
That I have said and done.
That devil just won’t let me forget.
In this life, I know what I’ve been, but here in Your arms, I know what I am

I’m forgiven, I’m forgiven!
And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I am, ‘cause I’m forgiven.

My mistakes are running through my mind,
And I relive my days in the middle of the night,
And I struggle with my pain and wrestle with my pride,
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry.
In this life, I know what I’ve been,
But here in Your arms, I know what I am.

I’m forgiven, I’m forgiven!
And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I am, ‘cause I’m forgiven.

When I don’t fit in, and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere,
When I don’t measure up to much in this life, I’m a treasure in the eyes of Christ.

I’m forgiven, I’m forgiven!
And I don’t have to carry the weight of who I am, ‘cause I’m forgiven.

Forgiven by Sanctus Real

Something to think about...

"When your dreams turn to dust...start vacuuming!!"

i.e. when things go wrong and don't turn out how you planned, take a deep breath, clean up the mess, and move on.

Don't give up.

Call a girlfriend.

Maybe your biggest mistake will turn into your biggest success.

Humor can take you a long way...so if at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!

Minnesota!!

I'd Rather Have Jesus

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands.
I’d rather be led by His nail-pierced hand

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sins’ dread sway.
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.
I’d rather be true to His holy name

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway.
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.
He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom;
He’s sweeter than honey from out of the comb;
He’s all that my hungering spirit needs.
I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway.
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.