Pony Ride

I finally found my new car!! Dad drove by a car lot last week and saw it. They had just traded for it, so they had not advertised it yet. We went to look at it Friday night, and I drove it and bought it. They were asking too much but finally came down to my offer, so I got a pretty good deal on it, and I absolutely love it!!! Since I haven't driven a manual in over 3 years, I had to have a little refresher course (and yes, I killed it a few times and also peeled out once lol) but now I feel comfortable in it and I am no longer freaked out when I pull up to a red light! ;)

It is a 2005 with only 52,000 miles. It is the beautiful Windveil Blue that I wanted, black interior, Shaker 500 stereo, and has only had one owner. It's a v6, but has an aftermarket muffler that makes it sound a little more aggressive lol.

I will have to replace the tires because they are worn out, and there are a couple other items that need maintenance, but it is in great condition.

Kaley now has a new car too, because she got my old Mustang. It was so weird watching her drive off in my car. Say goodbye to another friend, Lauren. So many memories in that car... Now it's time for more memories in a new car.

Here she is!!! Isn't she pretty??

reality seems surreal

I found out tonight that one of my friends was killed in Iraq. I haven't seen him for a few years, but have known him since the second grade. I was best friends with his sister.

It doesn't seem real. I can't believe it is happening. I can't believe I am old enough to lose a friend in a war. I never would have imagined this could happen. My heart aches for his sister. He was her best friend and protective older brother. They both served in Iraq together. He was there for the second time. Twenty-two years old and his life is over.

It is so strange to think that the kid I used to play with and go to class with is no longer living. It is just so surreal...

I found a video of his service online and watched it tonight. What a testimony he has. I am proud of him and his sacrifice for our country and our Lord. He was a good soldier of the United States and of Jesus Christ.

Please pray for the family of Jordan Tuttle.

It's Official

I really am moving. I told my boss yesterday.

Hello reality.

I actually feel much better now that I’ve told him. I was sure I was going to throw-up ahead of time, and I was so sick yesterday morning that I could barely stand in front of the bathroom mirror to get ready. And then of course, Miss Emotional cried in front of her boss…again. sigh. (I could cry about anything, everything, and nothing at this point in my life). I guess that will give me something to laugh about years down the road…

Believe it or not, I am learning new things about myself as I prepare for my 12th move. Are you ready for my newest revelation? Here it is: I hate disappointing people. God told me that when I asked why I was dreading breaking the news to my boss. I have always hated telling my bosses that I was leaving. It makes me feel like I am quitting on them, and I can’t stand being a quitter. I wish I could be dependable, but I never stay in one place long enough for that. I can’t guarantee where I will be in six months, or in this case, I didn’t even know I was moving a month ago…a week ago…

Also, I am still scared to death of the unknown. I always have been, and you would think after 12 times I would get over it. Ha! I feel like a wimp. But I am realizing once again, that it’s God’s strength that gets me through everything. I can feel His grace coming in a new way…well actually the old way: the way I feel His grace each time I have to start over. Each time I think “Wow, God’s grace is so amazing! If I can make it through that, I can make it through anything!!” How do I forget so easily??

Sunday night as I was thinking about having to tell my boss, I felt like a little girl who was crawling out on a tiny limb over a cliff. I felt so vulnerable. All the old questions came back: Is this really the right decision? What if it doesn’t work out? What will everyone think? Why does it have to be so scary? Will God catch me?

Of course He will catch me. He assured me that He is going with me down this new road. Truth, Lauren. Speak the truth to yourself.

I know this is good for me. The fear. The feelings of inadequacy. The weariness. It all makes God’s grace appear so much brighter and more real.

All I have to do is take it one day at a time. All He asked me to do yesterday was tell my boss…and I did it!!! Yay!!! I’m so proud of myself. The amazing thing is that my boss actually confirmed to me that I was doing the right thing. It was totally a God-thing. God has a way of bringing confirmation through the most unlikely sources!

Gotta go look for a house now!

Focus

Ps. 27:4 – One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.

When I get overwhelmed by life and circumstances, burdened with pressures and problems, and confused by chaos and questions, I find myself saying this verse over and over again. It helps me redirect my focus. Above all, my one desire is to seek the Lord and dwell in His presence. He is my One Thing. My Everything.

Does my spirit crave the Divine Shepherd, even in the presence of the best that the world can offer me? Do I have a constant sense of my Shepherd’s presence regardless of my surroundings? Do I take time to meet my Good Shepherd each day, letting Him tell me of His love, and cheering His heart with my interest in Him? Do I realize that my voice lifted in praise and song is sweet to Him, or do I withhold it? What is my greatest concern, the thing about which most of all I want Christ’s help? When He asks to hear my voice, what do I tell Him? Do I heed Christ when He bids me to come away from the lions’ den of temptation and dwell with Him? Am I willing to have the north wind of adversity blow upon me, if it will better fit me for Christ’s presence and companionship? In my weariness from earthly cares, do I hesitate to answer when the divine Shepherd knocks at my door, and so turn Him from Me? Is my Savior unquestionably the One altogether lovely, the One above all others most precious to me? Can I tell how and why Christ is more to me than any human being or than all earthly possessions?

Road Closed

I was on my way home, but had been driving around thinking about things and wasn’t quite ready to go home yet. When I got to the turn-off for our road, I felt like God wanted me to keep going. I knew I could only go another mile north because the road was closed since they were replacing the bridge. I drove right up to the road block, put the car in park, and sat there staring at the barricades. I was out in the country, no one else was around. Just me and “Road Closed.”

That is where I am in life, I thought. Sitting at a road block, wondering what to do next. I’ve got a lot of big decisions and changes ahead of me, and am trying to make the right decision.

Then God spoke: “Lauren, sometimes I close roads. You may not know why I close them. Maybe it’s because I am building a new road, and this old one is closed permanently. Or, maybe I close the road because it’s not ready for you, or you are not ready for it. Maybe there is a bridge out and the road is unsafe for you. I know that you could get hurt if you go down that road, so I block it for your safety until I fix it. So, while you are sitting at this Road Closed sign, you have a decision to make: will you trust Me? Or will you throw it into four-wheel and drive around the sign, trying to make your own path through?”

His powerful words rang in my ears as the depth of what He just said sank in. Am I trusting Him at this road block in life, or am I throwing a fit because of the inconvenience it is to me?

I thought of the old hymn by Fanny Crosby: All the Way My Savior Leads Me. One of the lines in there says “Jesus doeth all things well.” All things. Not just some things. Not just most things or only a few things. All things well. When He closes a road, it is well. When He makes a new road and asks me to follow it, it is well.