Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
a GOOD day
Monday was a really good day. I was blessed with a super quiet day in the office so I got a lot done; that is very unusual for a Monday, as I am sure most of you know! The weather was also beautiful that day. I caught myself replying to two "How are you doing" questions with "Great!" That left me in a state of shock because I honestly cannot even remember the last time I told someone I was doing "great." It was amazing for that to just automatically pop out of my mouth. I kinda liked it. ;) I could get addicted to that feeling. So I decided to try to make it last all week, and it worked pretty well inspite of very frustrating and difficult moments that threatened to steal my joy. I think when you go through times of absolute desperation and dependency on God to carry you through each moment, the blessing of a good day tastes so much sweeter. I was relishing it. :) Here's to more good days!!
******
On a completely different note: I am currently studying for my Pre-Cal exam (which could leave you wondering how I could have had a decent week lol jk). I gotta admit that even though I love algebra and could do it all.day.long, I sometimes find Pre-Cal to be overkill...especially after crunching numbers at the office all day. Today, my brain was begging me to stop...ohhh my head hurts. But, back to where I was going with this in the first place...ahem.
My Pre-Cal book made the following statement: "Calculus students work with only a few families of functions - absolute value, nth root, cubic, quadratic, polynomial, rational, exponential, logarithmic, and trigonometric functions." Only a few?? Is that supposed to be funny? Does anyone else think that list should qualify as several or numerous families of functions?
******
On a completely different note: I am currently studying for my Pre-Cal exam (which could leave you wondering how I could have had a decent week lol jk). I gotta admit that even though I love algebra and could do it all.day.long, I sometimes find Pre-Cal to be overkill...especially after crunching numbers at the office all day. Today, my brain was begging me to stop...ohhh my head hurts. But, back to where I was going with this in the first place...ahem.
(yes, of course I took a picture of it...no, that's not weird...)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
adventures
And now it is time for another adventure in the exciting life of Lauren. *cue melodramatic music*
The weekend had finally arrived. Too bad Lauren is just as busy on the weekends as she is during the week; it would be nice to have a day off every few months...She was vigorously attacking her to-do list of 20+ things when she was delayed by a most unfortunate dilemma.
Her car would not start. *melodramatic music turns mournful* Oh dear, could it be?? Has the life of her battery come to an end?
Tune in next time - nah, just kidding...I wouldn't want you to endure such suspense.
What is a girl supposed to do? Call Daddy, of course! He confirmed my suspicion that it was most likely the battery. Since he is obviously too far away to physically help me, I then turned to Grandpa. But alas! he was not home and neither was my uncle...and my other uncle was out of town. Great. Now what...
Well, I decided I would just try to take care of it myself, thank you very much. I have jump-started cars before, so I thought that if I could get the battery started, I could drive to the nearest auto parts store to have them check my battery and buy a new one if need be (at 5:00pm on Saturday, mind you). It soon became clear to me that my plans would not work. There was one big thing that stood in my way...getting the car out of my garage. That just so happens to be 3,350 lbs of problem right there, folks. I'm not going to disclose my weight, but suffice it to say that, despite my best efforts and toughest grunting, the car was not going to make it out of the garage. The following pictures reveal the discouraging results of my labor.
Pathetic, isn't it? Yes, I know, it's time to start lifting weights...
After standing dejectedly by my car and staring at this frustration through teary eyes, I finally decided to call Grandpa. After all, I had to arrange to borrow a vehicle so I could make it to church on Sunday; I had to work in the nursery and go to a meeting afterwards. He stopped and helped me get the battery out and then drove me down to O'Reilly's (which happens to be open until 8!).
The guy put my battery on the tester, and said "I'm guessing it has at least 500 cold cranking amps." I didn't know anything about that, but I leaned over and looked at my battery sitting on the counter. "Um, it says on the label '590 cold cranking amps.'" "Oh, okay." he says.
After a few moments, we had the diagnosis: the battery was bad and did need to be replaced. Then he went to the computer and started asking questions about my car. I answered all his questions (and just between you and me, I think he was trying to act like he wasn't impressed that I knew the answers). Come on, man, this girl knows a few things about her car, okay??
Well, long story short, it gets even better (depending on how you are looking at it...personally, I thought it was a little awkward...). After I paid for the new battery and we were turning to leave, the guy asked my grandpa "Are you wanting to get her married off? I've got a 22-year old son I am trying to marry off, do we need to set something up?"
???
Grandpa started to respond "Well, that is about her age..." but I quickly cut him off and tried to end any further actions by laughing it off and saying "Well, I'm not 22. I'm 24."
The two young men at the counter were staring and snickering.
Oh dear, I was just trying to get a battery...I didn't expect an offer of marriage.
The weekend had finally arrived. Too bad Lauren is just as busy on the weekends as she is during the week; it would be nice to have a day off every few months...She was vigorously attacking her to-do list of 20+ things when she was delayed by a most unfortunate dilemma.
Her car would not start. *melodramatic music turns mournful* Oh dear, could it be?? Has the life of her battery come to an end?
Tune in next time - nah, just kidding...I wouldn't want you to endure such suspense.
What is a girl supposed to do? Call Daddy, of course! He confirmed my suspicion that it was most likely the battery. Since he is obviously too far away to physically help me, I then turned to Grandpa. But alas! he was not home and neither was my uncle...and my other uncle was out of town. Great. Now what...
Well, I decided I would just try to take care of it myself, thank you very much. I have jump-started cars before, so I thought that if I could get the battery started, I could drive to the nearest auto parts store to have them check my battery and buy a new one if need be (at 5:00pm on Saturday, mind you). It soon became clear to me that my plans would not work. There was one big thing that stood in my way...getting the car out of my garage. That just so happens to be 3,350 lbs of problem right there, folks. I'm not going to disclose my weight, but suffice it to say that, despite my best efforts and toughest grunting, the car was not going to make it out of the garage. The following pictures reveal the discouraging results of my labor.
Pathetic, isn't it? Yes, I know, it's time to start lifting weights...
After standing dejectedly by my car and staring at this frustration through teary eyes, I finally decided to call Grandpa. After all, I had to arrange to borrow a vehicle so I could make it to church on Sunday; I had to work in the nursery and go to a meeting afterwards. He stopped and helped me get the battery out and then drove me down to O'Reilly's (which happens to be open until 8!).
The guy put my battery on the tester, and said "I'm guessing it has at least 500 cold cranking amps." I didn't know anything about that, but I leaned over and looked at my battery sitting on the counter. "Um, it says on the label '590 cold cranking amps.'" "Oh, okay." he says.
After a few moments, we had the diagnosis: the battery was bad and did need to be replaced. Then he went to the computer and started asking questions about my car. I answered all his questions (and just between you and me, I think he was trying to act like he wasn't impressed that I knew the answers). Come on, man, this girl knows a few things about her car, okay??
Well, long story short, it gets even better (depending on how you are looking at it...personally, I thought it was a little awkward...). After I paid for the new battery and we were turning to leave, the guy asked my grandpa "Are you wanting to get her married off? I've got a 22-year old son I am trying to marry off, do we need to set something up?"
???
Grandpa started to respond "Well, that is about her age..." but I quickly cut him off and tried to end any further actions by laughing it off and saying "Well, I'm not 22. I'm 24."
The two young men at the counter were staring and snickering.
Oh dear, I was just trying to get a battery...I didn't expect an offer of marriage.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
2011 Journey
January – We welcomed Daddy back from Afghanistan.
We celebrated his birthday and Christmas. I turned 23. I went to my first Monster Jam event.
I came down with a bad case of the flu and was sick for three weeks.
February – Still sick. My brother qualified for state wrestling tournament and we traveled through a blizzard to get to the tournament.
March – Painting project. Enrolled in CollegePlus!
April – My house got broken into and I spent the next few months trying to get over my fear again.
Began experiencing panic attacks and tried to learn how to deal with them. Went to an open call for extras for a movie that would be filmed locally. Had my first phone call with my academic advisor.
May – Acting debut – extra in a movie! Tornado in Joplin; our friends are okay.
First CLEP exam. Finally trapped the mouse that had been tormenting me at night for weeks.
June – Sheriff incident. My brother ran in the state track tournament and then came to stay for the summer. My first haircut in 11 months. Earned 12 college credits in this month!
July – Began working overtime. Very hot and dry summer = sky high electricity bills. Rodeo.
August – One year anniversary of my life-changing move back to OK. First rain of the summer.
My brother left. Still working overtime. Freshman year of college completed!
September – Security system installed = better sleep at night. Overtime finally ends, back to only 40 hours a week.
October – Dallas Cowboys football game!!
November – Begin working overtime again.
December – My great-grandpa passed away.
We celebrated his birthday and Christmas. I turned 23. I went to my first Monster Jam event.
I came down with a bad case of the flu and was sick for three weeks.
February – Still sick. My brother qualified for state wrestling tournament and we traveled through a blizzard to get to the tournament.
March – Painting project. Enrolled in CollegePlus!
April – My house got broken into and I spent the next few months trying to get over my fear again.
Began experiencing panic attacks and tried to learn how to deal with them. Went to an open call for extras for a movie that would be filmed locally. Had my first phone call with my academic advisor.
May – Acting debut – extra in a movie! Tornado in Joplin; our friends are okay.
First CLEP exam. Finally trapped the mouse that had been tormenting me at night for weeks.
June – Sheriff incident. My brother ran in the state track tournament and then came to stay for the summer. My first haircut in 11 months. Earned 12 college credits in this month!
July – Began working overtime. Very hot and dry summer = sky high electricity bills. Rodeo.
August – One year anniversary of my life-changing move back to OK. First rain of the summer.
My brother left. Still working overtime. Freshman year of college completed!
September – Security system installed = better sleep at night. Overtime finally ends, back to only 40 hours a week.
October – Dallas Cowboys football game!!
November – Begin working overtime again.
December – My great-grandpa passed away.
Hello 2012.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Family Pics
We didn't think we were going to have a family Christmas card picture this year, but just when we thought all hope was gone...
Wednesday the 21st (after Grandad's funeral) we snapped a few and what do you know we suddenly have a Christmas card! Too bad we didn't get Chris in his tie and Dad in his dress blues...ya can't have everything...
I also took family pictures for my aunt, so here are my favorites:
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Stories from Room 413
I wrote the following post for myself. I thought it would help me process and remember the events surrounding my great-grandpa's passing.
Friday, December 16, 2011 - My aunt (Dad’s sister) called me as I was getting ready for work. She said Grandad had a really bad night in the hospital. They had to do CPR and put him on a respirator. Aunt Debbie said she and Uncle Don (the youngest brother) were going to the hospital and asked if I wanted to go with them. I said yes. Then I called my dad and told him that I thought he needed to come down. I didn’t know what to expect when I got to the hospital, but I didn’t want Dad to be 6 hours away from his hero.
We got to the hospital and found Grandad awake and cognizant. We all gave him a hug and were talking to him when the Palliative Care Team came in. I thought the doctors were very professional and understanding and I was very grateful for the care they provided. They kept talking about how impressed they were that Grandma and Grandad had been married for 72 years. They wanted to know who we were and where we were from. Then they told us that Grandad was dying. He had COPD and bronchitis. He had fluid on his lungs and was not exchanging oxygen very well; his heart and lungs were giving out. They said he had a few weeks, maybe a month left. They asked him where he wanted to spend his last days and said they could make him as comfortable as possible and send him home to let hospice take care of him. They said that the family should stay close by in the next few weeks. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as we talked about his options. I watched Grandma sitting at his side and saw Grandad catch her eye and wink at her. They were such a cute couple, it just didn’t seem right that she would have to go on without him. I heard the emotion in Aunt Jody’s voice as she said that she just didn’t want her dad to suffer. The doctors assured us that they would make sure he was comfortable. There was laughter and more tears as Grandad told the doctors that he just wanted to be buried out on his farm somewhere. He didn’t talk much because it was a struggle for him to even breathe and it was very frustrating for him that people weren’t able to understand him. I watched him say something to the doctor and then point at his wife. The doctor said “You are a very blessed man.” Grandad was smiling with pride.
The doctors left us to think about the options and decide how to proceed with hospice. I stepped out to call Mom and Dad and let them know what the doctors said. Dad said he was on the road, but was only in Kansas City. I wondered what the next few weeks would be like…especially with Christmas coming.
Uncle Tony took Grandma Mills and Aunt Jody to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Aunt Debbie volunteered me to sit at Grandad’s bedside and hold his hand while Grandma was gone. I didn’t feel like the right person for the job, but I sat down and took his hand. Uncle Don sat at the other side of the bed. I didn’t know what to say to Grandad since I am not good at chit chat in emotional situations like that. I knew it was difficult for him to talk anyway, so I mostly just sat there and held his hand, hoping he might feel a little better knowing that someone was there with him. He would speak occasionally, and I would try to interpret what he said. Even if I couldn’t understand, I nodded my head and smiled, knowing that he would only get frustrated if I asked him to repeat himself.
I got a text from my brother who was at an intense 2-day tournament. He said “Tell grandad I’m missin him today…I’m wrestlin with him in my head and his name on my ankles today.” More tears fell. I told Grandad that Christopher was wrestling and was thinking of him. Grandad perked up and said “Is he gonna beat ‘em?” I smiled and said, “Well, I don’t know…it’s a really tough competition. He did really well last week, though. He got first place!” Grandad smiled and I cried.
We told him the doctors said he could go home in the next day or so. He mentioned a nursing home and said they could take care of him. I asked if that’s where he wanted to go. He weakly said “I don’t know” and shook his head. I squeezed his hand and said “It’s okay, you don’t have to know. We will just take you home and then if you want to go to a nursing home you can. We don’t have to decide everything right now.” He seemed overwhelmed by trying to make a decision.
When Aunt Debbie asked him where he wanted to take his last breath, he said “I don’t know. I guess I never thought I would die.” Aunt Debbie said “You mean you thought Jesus would come back and just take us all to heaven?” Grandad nodded. We all agreed and said we felt the same way. I smiled through the tears.
When the others came back from lunch, I resumed my place by the window. I was unaware of the time and can’t recall everything that happened, but Tony, Don, and Jody were out in the hall. Aunt Debbie was by Grandad’s bedside, I was looking at a magazine, and Grandma Mills had just walked back in the room when I heard Aunt Debbie say “Grandad?” The tone of her voice made me look up and I saw that he did not respond. My heart felt like it was caught in my throat as I moved to the bed. I looked at his face and into his eyes and in that moment I knew it was happening. Grandad was leaving us. Aunt Debbie told Grandma to come hold his hand and talk to him. She had tried calling the nurse but couldn’t get a response and told me to get Jody. How do I do this?? I stepped into the hall and told Jody that Deb wanted her. I followed her into the room. As I stood at the foot of the bed I thought You can’t go yet…Daddy is not here. He wants to say goodbye. You have to wait, Grandad. Then I remembered Tony and Don in the hallway. I went out and beckoned them inside without saying anything. Jody went for a nurse but there was no one at the nurse’s station. We all stood around his bed and watched him. He went so fast, and without a struggle. I remember looking at the clock because I wanted to know what time it was - 1:45pm.
I couldn’t believe he was gone already. He didn’t even say goodbye, he just slipped away. It was my first time to watch someone die. I hadn’t planned on being there when he passed away, and I couldn’t help asking God why I was there and my dad wasn’t. Then my heart sank as I realized that I had to call my dad and tell him. That was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever had to make. Half an hour passed before I could dial his number, and all of my attempts at composure were worthless. I’m sure the chaplain thought I was an emotional wreck…I don’t know how many tissues I went through. Dad was two hours too late. Then I called Mom; she said my brother was getting ready for his first match.
The tears in the eyes of my family made my own tears fall even faster. It is so hard for me to see other people hurting; I wish I could be stronger in situations like that, but I only seem to be good at weeping with those who weep.
December 21, 2011 - The funeral was beautiful and the church was packed. I hope I can leave an amazing legacy someday, too.
Friday, December 16, 2011 - My aunt (Dad’s sister) called me as I was getting ready for work. She said Grandad had a really bad night in the hospital. They had to do CPR and put him on a respirator. Aunt Debbie said she and Uncle Don (the youngest brother) were going to the hospital and asked if I wanted to go with them. I said yes. Then I called my dad and told him that I thought he needed to come down. I didn’t know what to expect when I got to the hospital, but I didn’t want Dad to be 6 hours away from his hero.
We got to the hospital and found Grandad awake and cognizant. We all gave him a hug and were talking to him when the Palliative Care Team came in. I thought the doctors were very professional and understanding and I was very grateful for the care they provided. They kept talking about how impressed they were that Grandma and Grandad had been married for 72 years. They wanted to know who we were and where we were from. Then they told us that Grandad was dying. He had COPD and bronchitis. He had fluid on his lungs and was not exchanging oxygen very well; his heart and lungs were giving out. They said he had a few weeks, maybe a month left. They asked him where he wanted to spend his last days and said they could make him as comfortable as possible and send him home to let hospice take care of him. They said that the family should stay close by in the next few weeks. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as we talked about his options. I watched Grandma sitting at his side and saw Grandad catch her eye and wink at her. They were such a cute couple, it just didn’t seem right that she would have to go on without him. I heard the emotion in Aunt Jody’s voice as she said that she just didn’t want her dad to suffer. The doctors assured us that they would make sure he was comfortable. There was laughter and more tears as Grandad told the doctors that he just wanted to be buried out on his farm somewhere. He didn’t talk much because it was a struggle for him to even breathe and it was very frustrating for him that people weren’t able to understand him. I watched him say something to the doctor and then point at his wife. The doctor said “You are a very blessed man.” Grandad was smiling with pride.
The doctors left us to think about the options and decide how to proceed with hospice. I stepped out to call Mom and Dad and let them know what the doctors said. Dad said he was on the road, but was only in Kansas City. I wondered what the next few weeks would be like…especially with Christmas coming.
Uncle Tony took Grandma Mills and Aunt Jody to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Aunt Debbie volunteered me to sit at Grandad’s bedside and hold his hand while Grandma was gone. I didn’t feel like the right person for the job, but I sat down and took his hand. Uncle Don sat at the other side of the bed. I didn’t know what to say to Grandad since I am not good at chit chat in emotional situations like that. I knew it was difficult for him to talk anyway, so I mostly just sat there and held his hand, hoping he might feel a little better knowing that someone was there with him. He would speak occasionally, and I would try to interpret what he said. Even if I couldn’t understand, I nodded my head and smiled, knowing that he would only get frustrated if I asked him to repeat himself.
I got a text from my brother who was at an intense 2-day tournament. He said “Tell grandad I’m missin him today…I’m wrestlin with him in my head and his name on my ankles today.” More tears fell. I told Grandad that Christopher was wrestling and was thinking of him. Grandad perked up and said “Is he gonna beat ‘em?” I smiled and said, “Well, I don’t know…it’s a really tough competition. He did really well last week, though. He got first place!” Grandad smiled and I cried.
We told him the doctors said he could go home in the next day or so. He mentioned a nursing home and said they could take care of him. I asked if that’s where he wanted to go. He weakly said “I don’t know” and shook his head. I squeezed his hand and said “It’s okay, you don’t have to know. We will just take you home and then if you want to go to a nursing home you can. We don’t have to decide everything right now.” He seemed overwhelmed by trying to make a decision.
When Aunt Debbie asked him where he wanted to take his last breath, he said “I don’t know. I guess I never thought I would die.” Aunt Debbie said “You mean you thought Jesus would come back and just take us all to heaven?” Grandad nodded. We all agreed and said we felt the same way. I smiled through the tears.
When the others came back from lunch, I resumed my place by the window. I was unaware of the time and can’t recall everything that happened, but Tony, Don, and Jody were out in the hall. Aunt Debbie was by Grandad’s bedside, I was looking at a magazine, and Grandma Mills had just walked back in the room when I heard Aunt Debbie say “Grandad?” The tone of her voice made me look up and I saw that he did not respond. My heart felt like it was caught in my throat as I moved to the bed. I looked at his face and into his eyes and in that moment I knew it was happening. Grandad was leaving us. Aunt Debbie told Grandma to come hold his hand and talk to him. She had tried calling the nurse but couldn’t get a response and told me to get Jody. How do I do this?? I stepped into the hall and told Jody that Deb wanted her. I followed her into the room. As I stood at the foot of the bed I thought You can’t go yet…Daddy is not here. He wants to say goodbye. You have to wait, Grandad. Then I remembered Tony and Don in the hallway. I went out and beckoned them inside without saying anything. Jody went for a nurse but there was no one at the nurse’s station. We all stood around his bed and watched him. He went so fast, and without a struggle. I remember looking at the clock because I wanted to know what time it was - 1:45pm.
I couldn’t believe he was gone already. He didn’t even say goodbye, he just slipped away. It was my first time to watch someone die. I hadn’t planned on being there when he passed away, and I couldn’t help asking God why I was there and my dad wasn’t. Then my heart sank as I realized that I had to call my dad and tell him. That was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever had to make. Half an hour passed before I could dial his number, and all of my attempts at composure were worthless. I’m sure the chaplain thought I was an emotional wreck…I don’t know how many tissues I went through. Dad was two hours too late. Then I called Mom; she said my brother was getting ready for his first match.
The tears in the eyes of my family made my own tears fall even faster. It is so hard for me to see other people hurting; I wish I could be stronger in situations like that, but I only seem to be good at weeping with those who weep.
December 21, 2011 - The funeral was beautiful and the church was packed. I hope I can leave an amazing legacy someday, too.
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