I have been reading a really good book called "Self Talk, Soul Talk" by Jennifer Rothschild. It was only about a year ago that I began to realize that the words I say to myself are very destructive. I started seeing the impact that they had on my life and I didn't like it. Then I heard about this book and knew I had to read it; I bought it several months ago and am slowly working my way through it when I can find a few spare minutes.
I wanted to post a section where she is talking about reverencing God and how that changes the way we see ourselves. It was a wake-up call for me as I thought of this in a new way. She references Proverbs 9:10 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."
Here is how she explains the "fear of the Lord" and shows how that influences our self talk:
"It means we regard God more highly than we regard ourselves. We esteem His truth more highly than we esteem our perceptions of truth. To fear the Lord means holding His knowledge and truth in higher regard than our own.
Examine your own heart and mind. Do you fear the Lord? Whose truth do you elevate most highly in your life? Yours, our culture's, or God's?"
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
happenings
Okay, here is an overdue update on my life:
My church started a summer study on Discipleship on Wednesday nights. Sooo good.
My brother came to stay with me for the summer!!! He is working here for a month or two; it is so nice to have someone around the house when I get home at night.
I passed another CLEP exam!!! It was Enlish Lit and I must say that I am glad that one is over. I now have 12 credits and am currently studying for the American Lit exam which I hope to take next Friday *much praying going on*
I got my haircut for the first time in 11 months. Yes, it was most definitely time.
I went for a drive in the pasture in the old farm truck with my cousins...and lived to tell about it.
I had my first slice of Key Lime Pie.
I have been crazy busy.
I am ready for another weekend.
My church started a summer study on Discipleship on Wednesday nights. Sooo good.
My brother came to stay with me for the summer!!! He is working here for a month or two; it is so nice to have someone around the house when I get home at night.
I passed another CLEP exam!!! It was Enlish Lit and I must say that I am glad that one is over. I now have 12 credits and am currently studying for the American Lit exam which I hope to take next Friday *much praying going on*
I got my haircut for the first time in 11 months. Yes, it was most definitely time.
I went for a drive in the pasture in the old farm truck with my cousins...and lived to tell about it.
I had my first slice of Key Lime Pie.
I have been crazy busy.
I am ready for another weekend.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
the analogy
Okay, so I thought of this analogy last week and wanted to share it since I thought it was significant.
The incident with the sheriff a couple weeks ago is a lot like conversations the devil has with me. Here's why:
Satan brings many accusations against me. Some of them are wildly untrue. He is the ultimate False Accuser. His motives may not be clear, but he is always deceptive, intimidating, and harassing.
The question God asked me was this: Are you as quick to deny satan's false accusations as you were those of the sheriff?
Ouch.
I didn't believe for a minute that I was going 83mph; why then am I so quick to believe that I am a failure, not good enough, unloved, troublesome, and hopeless? When I am accused of something - by the Biggest Lier Ever - that I know to be false, why do I agree with him? That would be like saying "Your radar said I was going 83? Wow, I didn't know I was going that fast. I must be a terrible driver! I deserve a ticket. How could anyone like me now?" Why don't I confront satan with the truth of God's Word and stand solid and unwavering on that truth?
Maybe I got pulled over and wrongly accused to show me what a pushover I am. Ouch again. I hate to even admit that I am so easily swayed by the lies of the deceiver. No more!!! I will take this lesson to heart and be changed by it. I will become strong in the Truth. I will.
P.S. I mean no disrespect in this analogy; I have a high regard for our officers and am very grateful for everything they do to keep us safe. When my house got broken into, they sent someone out to investigate; I very much appreciated that.
The incident with the sheriff a couple weeks ago is a lot like conversations the devil has with me. Here's why:
Satan brings many accusations against me. Some of them are wildly untrue. He is the ultimate False Accuser. His motives may not be clear, but he is always deceptive, intimidating, and harassing.
The question God asked me was this: Are you as quick to deny satan's false accusations as you were those of the sheriff?
Ouch.
I didn't believe for a minute that I was going 83mph; why then am I so quick to believe that I am a failure, not good enough, unloved, troublesome, and hopeless? When I am accused of something - by the Biggest Lier Ever - that I know to be false, why do I agree with him? That would be like saying "Your radar said I was going 83? Wow, I didn't know I was going that fast. I must be a terrible driver! I deserve a ticket. How could anyone like me now?" Why don't I confront satan with the truth of God's Word and stand solid and unwavering on that truth?
Maybe I got pulled over and wrongly accused to show me what a pushover I am. Ouch again. I hate to even admit that I am so easily swayed by the lies of the deceiver. No more!!! I will take this lesson to heart and be changed by it. I will become strong in the Truth. I will.
P.S. I mean no disrespect in this analogy; I have a high regard for our officers and am very grateful for everything they do to keep us safe. When my house got broken into, they sent someone out to investigate; I very much appreciated that.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Dear Kaley
My little sister had a birthday today and entered a new era: the twenties. I was so sad that I couldn't be there to celebrate with my family. I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to say to Kaley. So I decided to write her a letter. I discovered as I wrote it that I was also speaking it to myself and not just my sister. If this is what I want for her, I have to practice it myself.
Dear Kaley,
Welcome to the twenties! This next decade of your life will be an adventure, I can promise you that! It will bring new things to do, places to see, and people to meet. It will bring many questions and maybe not as many answers. It will bring change and maybe not much stability. It will bring experience and maybe more than you would want! It will be the end of some things and the beginning of so much more. It will shape you, scare you, push you, show you, grow you, and make you. It will bring big decisions and more things to think about; amazing opportunities and incredible excitement.
It will bring uncertainties. You will still try to figure out why you are here and where you are going. Your place in this world may seem impossible to determine and/or reach. But that only brings you to a deeper level of dependency on Your Savior. So rejoice! And rest in Him.
Don't try to keep it all together. Don't get distracted so much by the goal that you don't live in the process. Don't ever stop reaching for the stars. Don't forget who you are to Christ.
It will bring you more of Jesus. Because through it all, no matter how alone you are, He will be there. He will pick you up, dust you off, carry you on, hold your tears, cherish your laughter, strengthen your faith, and calm your fears. Make knowing Him the biggest goal, because that is where you will find the answers to all your difficult questions and where you can take all your biggest problems.
I haven't made it to the other side yet; I'm just beginning to wade through the mid-20s. But I wish I had started letting go sooner...and more willingly. Letting go of me and taking hold of Him. That's what I'm working on right now and it is a slow, painful process! I hope it's easier for you! So don't let it overwhelm you or discourage you, embrace it and let it mold you into the person God wants you to be. I will be working on it too!
"Many things will catch your eye, but very few will capture your heart. Pursue those."
Happy 20th Birthday, Kales! I love you!!
Lauren
Dear Kaley,
Welcome to the twenties! This next decade of your life will be an adventure, I can promise you that! It will bring new things to do, places to see, and people to meet. It will bring many questions and maybe not as many answers. It will bring change and maybe not much stability. It will bring experience and maybe more than you would want! It will be the end of some things and the beginning of so much more. It will shape you, scare you, push you, show you, grow you, and make you. It will bring big decisions and more things to think about; amazing opportunities and incredible excitement.
It will bring uncertainties. You will still try to figure out why you are here and where you are going. Your place in this world may seem impossible to determine and/or reach. But that only brings you to a deeper level of dependency on Your Savior. So rejoice! And rest in Him.
Don't try to keep it all together. Don't get distracted so much by the goal that you don't live in the process. Don't ever stop reaching for the stars. Don't forget who you are to Christ.
It will bring you more of Jesus. Because through it all, no matter how alone you are, He will be there. He will pick you up, dust you off, carry you on, hold your tears, cherish your laughter, strengthen your faith, and calm your fears. Make knowing Him the biggest goal, because that is where you will find the answers to all your difficult questions and where you can take all your biggest problems.
I haven't made it to the other side yet; I'm just beginning to wade through the mid-20s. But I wish I had started letting go sooner...and more willingly. Letting go of me and taking hold of Him. That's what I'm working on right now and it is a slow, painful process! I hope it's easier for you! So don't let it overwhelm you or discourage you, embrace it and let it mold you into the person God wants you to be. I will be working on it too!
"Many things will catch your eye, but very few will capture your heart. Pursue those."
Happy 20th Birthday, Kales! I love you!!
Lauren
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Meet Mr. J. Henningway
He's a sheriff. I met him today on my way home from church.
Here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth:
The speed limit had just changed to 65 so I accelerated to that rate and then set my cruise, like I always do. Right about that time, I saw a sheriff coming from the other direction. He did a u-turn behind me and here are some of my thoughts from the next seconds: "Oh, he's going to get someone! But there's no one in front of me...why is he following me? I haven't done anything. He's getting closer...surely not..."
And then the lights. Oh the lights. They've never been for ME before. Not once. (Unless you count the police escort my mom had to the hospital when she was in labor with me...)
I slowed down, put my blinker on, and began pulling off the road; hoping, praying that he would fly right on by. Not happening. He stayed right with me as I slowed to a stop on the shoulder. I wanted to get off the road completely, but there was nowhere to go. So I set my parking brake and waited. A million things were running through my head.
My tag was not expired. I was not driving recklessly. I was innocent!!!
My heart was pounding as he came up to my window, but I maintained my poise. He leaned down and rested his arm on my door (excuse me??) and said in a satisfied tone: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
I was expecting him to ask for my DL and my insurance verification so I was caught off guard.
I was going the speed limit, of course!! What a stupid question.
My actual reply: 65. (in an even tone)
He replied with a triumphant smirk: I clocked you at 83.
My mouth dropped open. I couldn't help it. I'm sure the color drained from my face too. I was speechless.
What in the world??? There is no way I was going 83. My cruise control was set at 65 and even if my speedometer is off a little (perish the thought!) it would not be off by 18 mph!!! I was suddenly faced with a HUGE problem. How do you tell an officer he is wrong and his radar gun is wrong?? I had noboby in the car with me - no witness. That moment was frozen in time for me as I tried to figure out how to begin to formulate a persuasive argument. I could see the ticket, the fines, the court, the judge...I was FREAKING OUT. Why would he accuse me of such a thing? I would like to think that an officer would be able to tell the difference between a car going 65 and a car going 83. Is this a nightmare? This isn't really happening to me, right? Jesus, help!!
I stared at him. I knew he was waiting for an answer. I finally found my voice.
"Sir, [I kept my tone very respectful] I had my cruise set at 65."
His tone changed immediately. He stood up and backed away from my car with his hands in the air. "Okay, that's fine. You're ok. You just showed up on my radar at 83."
Me: nervous laugh of relief Okay, good. There is no way I was going 83. I had my cruise on at 65.
Sheriff: Alright, it's fine. You can go ahead. Have a good day. Be safe.
Me: Thank you, Sir.
I watched him walk back to his car. Okay, what just happened? That was weird...and a little creepy. I was shaking as I pulled out on the highway and drove away. He went the opposite direction.
Soooo....
Glitch in the radar? Intimidation method? Trying to get his quota? Liked my car? Thought I was someone else?
I have no idea. Just another reminder that even if you follow all the rules and do everything right, things still go wrong. sigh Sounds like life to me.
Here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth:
The speed limit had just changed to 65 so I accelerated to that rate and then set my cruise, like I always do. Right about that time, I saw a sheriff coming from the other direction. He did a u-turn behind me and here are some of my thoughts from the next seconds: "Oh, he's going to get someone! But there's no one in front of me...why is he following me? I haven't done anything. He's getting closer...surely not..."
And then the lights. Oh the lights. They've never been for ME before. Not once. (Unless you count the police escort my mom had to the hospital when she was in labor with me...)
I slowed down, put my blinker on, and began pulling off the road; hoping, praying that he would fly right on by. Not happening. He stayed right with me as I slowed to a stop on the shoulder. I wanted to get off the road completely, but there was nowhere to go. So I set my parking brake and waited. A million things were running through my head.
My tag was not expired. I was not driving recklessly. I was innocent!!!
My heart was pounding as he came up to my window, but I maintained my poise. He leaned down and rested his arm on my door (excuse me??) and said in a satisfied tone: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
I was expecting him to ask for my DL and my insurance verification so I was caught off guard.
I was going the speed limit, of course!! What a stupid question.
My actual reply: 65. (in an even tone)
He replied with a triumphant smirk: I clocked you at 83.
My mouth dropped open. I couldn't help it. I'm sure the color drained from my face too. I was speechless.
What in the world??? There is no way I was going 83. My cruise control was set at 65 and even if my speedometer is off a little (perish the thought!) it would not be off by 18 mph!!! I was suddenly faced with a HUGE problem. How do you tell an officer he is wrong and his radar gun is wrong?? I had noboby in the car with me - no witness. That moment was frozen in time for me as I tried to figure out how to begin to formulate a persuasive argument. I could see the ticket, the fines, the court, the judge...I was FREAKING OUT. Why would he accuse me of such a thing? I would like to think that an officer would be able to tell the difference between a car going 65 and a car going 83. Is this a nightmare? This isn't really happening to me, right? Jesus, help!!
I stared at him. I knew he was waiting for an answer. I finally found my voice.
"Sir, [I kept my tone very respectful] I had my cruise set at 65."
His tone changed immediately. He stood up and backed away from my car with his hands in the air. "Okay, that's fine. You're ok. You just showed up on my radar at 83."
Me: nervous laugh of relief Okay, good. There is no way I was going 83. I had my cruise on at 65.
Sheriff: Alright, it's fine. You can go ahead. Have a good day. Be safe.
Me: Thank you, Sir.
I watched him walk back to his car. Okay, what just happened? That was weird...and a little creepy. I was shaking as I pulled out on the highway and drove away. He went the opposite direction.
Soooo....
Glitch in the radar? Intimidation method? Trying to get his quota? Liked my car? Thought I was someone else?
I have no idea. Just another reminder that even if you follow all the rules and do everything right, things still go wrong. sigh Sounds like life to me.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Stronger
Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded. 2 Chronicles 15:7
Today was yet another extremely difficult day. I was so ready to throw in the towel. In an effort to look past my current difficulties, I came up with a list of things I am grateful for today.
God's Word - because it picks me up when I am down.
My church - because it is the only place I don't feel like a machine.
My car stereo - because it's boomin' speakers can blast my frustrations away.
My house - because I am completely alone here so I can scream my frustrations without bothering anyone (not that I do scream...but I might).
My mom - because she listens to me vent...and loves me anyway.
Today was yet another extremely difficult day. I was so ready to throw in the towel. In an effort to look past my current difficulties, I came up with a list of things I am grateful for today.
God's Word - because it picks me up when I am down.
My church - because it is the only place I don't feel like a machine.
My car stereo - because it's boomin' speakers can blast my frustrations away.
My house - because I am completely alone here so I can scream my frustrations without bothering anyone (not that I do scream...but I might).
My mom - because she listens to me vent...and loves me anyway.
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