stop fighting it

Last year, my friend gave me this book to read. I have been slowly working my way through it since I don't have large amounts of time to sit and absorb it. Something I read recently really grabbed my attention.

It is sometime hard to "internalize" the lessons of life...you may tend to feel rejected, dominated by "heavy-handed" authority, or fearful when a situation is really intended by God to help you grow...How we deal with disappointment and respond to what God wants to do in our lives reveals, perhaps more clearly than anything else, how secure we feel in His love and how close we are to His Father heart.

I used to think that pain and heartache was not good and should/could be avoided by following God and living for Him. I have "fought" difficult circumstances and tried to "fix" things so they are not hard or painful anymore. I have tried to bring order to chaotic events in my life to keep everything together and running smoothly.

I now realize that in doing so, I was (am) resisting what God wants to do in my life. God isn't as concerned with changing my circumstances as much as He is concerned with changing me. I have been so eager for my situation to change, but how eager have I been for my heart to change?

I am learning.

I am learning to embrace the pain and the difficulty. My God is so faithful to provide grace and I am so grateful for that.

I am learning to look at frustrations as opportunities for growth.

This isn't where I want to be, but that's okay. My God can bring good out of this.

I may have already shared this video, but I love what Mark Driscoll says at the end.

I was asking the wrong questions...The question I should have asked was "God, how are you trying to change me...What am I supposed to learn? How am I supposed to change?" I was asking God questions when I should have been asking me questions.