adversity

There is a special piece of paper in my Bible that has been there for several years. It stays in Psalm 73, one of my favorite Psalms to read when I find myself in perplexing circumstances with no apparent answers. I am guilty of unbelief, discontent, and bitterness. But I don't want to stay there.

"If we have faith in God, adversity is our friend and our ally. If we are guilty of unbelief, adversity is our enemy. Reality is not determined by our circumstances. Reality is determined by our perception of our circumstances. If we have faith in God, we can see our circumstances from His perception and be encouraged. If we do not have faith, we only see our circumstances from our limited perception and we will be discouraged. Each day and each moment of each day we have an opportunity to choose what perception we will have about our circumstances. Jesus stands at the door of our hearts and knocks. His desire is to help us see our circumstances from God's perception. We must open the door and commune with Jesus to gain God's perception. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ provides eternal life. But it also provides a view of life from God's perspective that can lift us up during the most difficult

seasons of life."

Pastor Jerry Wells

Western Hills Church

in my dreams

This is what I wish my hair looked like...not as big as mine and more tame...

Or this, 'cause hey, while I'm dreaming, I might as well dream big...I have always loved Carrie Underwood's hair!!!

sigh. I do like my own hair. Really. Some days it's just a little harder to feel that affection. ;)

Operation Tame-the-Mane

I haven't cut my hair for, well, obviously a few months. I love long hair, but my hair is super hard to take care of and barely looks halfway decent (and the Oklahoma 90% humidity doesn't help anything either). So I decided to chop it all off. Get a summer 'do. Seven inches later...

I only straightened it the first day. The shorter cut didn't really "tame" the mane. So I decided to stop fighting it and just go natural. Crazy hair. Here is what I look really look like (prepare yourself):

What do you think? Better? Or should I have kept the length? It does feel better in this heat and humidity, but I don't know if it improved the look lol. My hair is huge. I could totally do 80's hair if it ever comes back in! I was born for it. (I am not saying I like it...you just can't stop destiny.)

unk-unks

I learned a very sophisticated term from my 900 page corporate finance textbook: unk-unks. I will put that in layman terms for you non-finance people: unknown unknowns. It was used in the context of project analysis, specifically sensitivity analysis. But I have applied it to my own life. I am facing many unk-unks. I don't like them. Not one bit. (This could be a great Dr. Seuss book, dontcha think??)

I started working on my degree last year because I felt the time was finally right. I definitely prayed about it a lot and believed that was what God wanted me to do. So I dove in and worked/studied my little heart out, trying to figure out how to balance full time job, school, and life in general. I gave it my best shot, but that's not quite good enough. I am struggling. Overwhelmed. And my body is shutting down. Apparently you can only burn the candle at both ends for so long...

So I made the oh-so-difficult decision to quit school. Put it back on the shelf again. I'm not sure how many dreams you have to die to before you find the one(s) God intends for you to live out, but I am saying goodbye to yet another one. I have no idea where Jesus will take me from here, all I can see is the step I'm on.

That's a scary place for me to be because there are huge unk-unks lurking around every dark corner, waiting to jump out and grab me. I do not like them, Sam-I-am, I do not like...oh never mind. Unk-unks don't rhyme with that.

This is my prayer while I am surrounded by those terrible unk-unk monsters.

Lest this post bring feelings of depression to you and more unnecessary feelings of depression to me, I will skillfully change the topic: picture time!!

Asparagus is supposed to be a good-mood-food. Since I like asparagus anyway, I knew it couldn't hurt anything, so I've bought a couple pounds of it. I can't tell yet that it has boosted my mood....the jury's still out.

I got flowers at work!

POPS!!!! And Dublin Dr. Pepper. Need I say more?

struggle

This quote jumped out and grabbed me today. I am not saying I agree with Danny Dreyer's philosophies, I don't really know much about him, but I saw this quote and really liked it.

“Struggle is the food from which change is made, and the best time to make the most of a struggle is when it's right in front of your face.

Now, I know that might sound a bit simplistic. But, too often we're led to believe that struggling is a bad thing, or that we struggle because we're doing something wrong.

 
I disagree. I look at struggle as an opportunity to grow. True struggle happens when you can sense what is not working for you and you're willing to take the appropriate action to correct the situation. Those who accomplish change are willing to engage the struggle.”

~Danny Dreyer


I wanted to share some photos with you but I can't get anything to upload so I guess I will have to try again later. That's all for now. Goodbye.

the hurt and the Healer

The breakfast of champions. One of the many reasons why Saturday mornings are so beautiful. ;)

Last week was really rough. I spent a lot of time in prayer, expressing my absolute dependence on God. Although this season isn't fun, I can see how it is good for me in several ways. It's like the MercyMe song...this is where the hurt and the Healer collide. I deeply desire to rest in complete trust in God and allow Him to work in my life, but how often I fall short! Here are some phrases and quotes that kept running through my mind and heart last week.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller

"You're gonna have all of me, cause You are worth every falling tear, You are worth facing any fear." ~Matt Hammitt

"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart." ~Eli Young Band

counting the smiles

There were several things that made me smile last week. I decided to document each of them for your viewing/reading pleasure. (Actually it's for me really...to remind me that God is good!) Cheers to the little things in life!

Monday: my coworker needed me to do something for him (which is not unusual) so he added these words to the bottom of his note (which is unusual).

I also got a new calculator!!! The other one was so old and wouldn't print very well anymore. I was quite elated with this new one. It's amazing what something new can do for a girl.

Tuesday: I passed Statistics!!! Did you catch that?? I. Passed. Statistics. Against all odds (pun intended). Thank you very much. Here is the announcement that I sent to my family:

"So I took another assessment in statistics hoping I could get the score needed for the credit. The probability of passing wasn't very good. The standard deviation of my progress scores compared to my assessment scores is 3.33%. I figured this would put me 1% behind the score for credit with a 90% confidence of this occurring. Unfortunately, I ended up scoring 2% above the score required for credit, thereby earning three hours of credit for statistics. The problem is I fear I don't deserve it because my calculations were off. I am a hopeless case."

My sister's reply? "Just accept it."

So I did. What else is a girl supposed to do?

Wednesday: These kids make me smile every week. I love them!!

Chloe said she had to make a wish before she blew the dandelion seeds. This 4-year old girl is full of joy and has the cutest lisp.

Annelise will be going to Sparks next year, and I will miss her so much! She is a bright, little girl that is diligent about hiding God's Word in her heart. I know she will fit right in with the big kids.

Madison is another one that will be leaving us for Sparks. How I will miss her cute-ness. Don't let her sweet smile trick you, she gets very serious about game time! Kinda reminds me of someone else I know really well...

Oh David. This little boy is very shy and came to Cubbies for several weeks before I finally got a smile out of him. Since then he has started coming out of his shell and was more chatty last week than he has ever been before!

Not pictured: Isaac, Aaron, Cord, Lanny, Brandt, Aiden, Dalton, Gavin, Ethan, Riley, Emilie, or Ciana. All of these kids bring me joy and laughter.

Friday: I got to take some time off work since I was all caught up on things at the office. I worked at catching up on my own things at home and made quite a bit of progress!

Now for another week...