Well, the state tournament adventure is over and it didn't really end how we wanted it to. Christopher lost his second match (barely) so he didn't place. Neither did his other two teammates. I know Chris was very disappointed because he doesn't feel like he did very well, but I am very proud of him. I think it is an amazing accomplishment to make it to the state tournament...and now we can look forward to next year!
We drove back yesterday, my family to their home and me to mine. I had met dad on the way to the tournament since he was in Oklahoma for a funeral. We left my car on base over the weekend; I love being on base! It always feels like home; wish I could live there...
Anyway, it felt sooo good to be back in my car. I'm not sure if I can really explain why I love my car so much, but it is like my sanctuary. I am always alone in there so it can be a quiet time alone with God (and it can also be a time to crank the radio and sing at the top of my lungs).
When I am in my car I am away from circumstances at my job, problems at my house, and people who drive me crazy.
When I am in my car I don't have to deal with a million different things or try to do everything at once. Sure, some other drivers on the road can be a pain, but for the most part, all I have to do is just drive. Maybe that's why I sometimes want to jump in my car and drive anywhere when things get especially overwhelming.
When I am in my car I am not a failure, I am not under pressure, I am not over worked, I am not being made fun of, I am not in trouble.
When I am in my car I don't have to be somebody else. I am me.
Maybe that place looks a little different for you. Maybe it's a closet. Open field. Church. Coffee shop. City park. I think most people have a place like that.
Even while putting these words on a page I have realized that how I am in my car (or "sanctuary") is how God sees me.
He sees me apart from everything else that is going on in my life.
Did you get that? I just can't stop reading it. In God's eyes, I am totally separate from my life circumstances and situation.
When I see me, I see the messes, the brokenness, the frustrations, the confusion. I see everything that is happening in my life. The good, the bad, the ugly. But that does not define who I am; that is not me. I am more than that. Praise God.
Maybe I should spend more time in my "car." :)
....
I love, love the lyrics to this song:
Beautiful by MercyMe
Days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves enough to die
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
1 comment:
I love that song. :) ~ B.
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