love this song

Peace

Summer 2008

Kaley 2009

St. Louis 2010

2706

I have been doing a lot of seeking, praying, meditating, and fasting. I think it is good for me to be driven to this place because I learn more about the nature of God and how He views me. It turns my mindset from these temporal trials to the eternal-ness of God's plans.

I have found myself pouring over the Psalms, searching for little jewels of comfort and hope to lead my through these days. The Psalms are packed with good stuff!! Because of the sufferings and trials of God's people thousands of years ago, we are blessed with these Divinely inspired words to give us insight into our own struggles. Just one more reason that I know God can use struggles for good...not only in our own life, but also in the lives of others.


Psalm 119:71: It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. KJV

I have read that verse before with the reassurance that affliction is good and is sent to teach us. But when I read it this time, the very last word caught my attention.

Statutes.

Just what exactly does He mean by that anyway? Commands? Laws?

The Amplified Bible uses the same word. NIV uses decrees. Rather than look up other various translations, I decided to cut right to the heart of the issue.

Enter the Strong's Concordance and Vine's Dictionary. I can feel my mother's smile now. Yes, she taught me well; and oh how I love research. Truly.

The word "statutes" in this verse is found on page 974 in the concordance. As you will see when you look it up (you are reaching for that 50 pound hunk-of-a-book sitting on your coffee table next to you, aren't you?), it has the number 2706 next to it, cross-referencing it with the Vine's Dictionary (it's the 20 pound book next to the concordance). We will now look up "statutes" in the Vine's and it just so happens to be on page 244. There are two Hebrew variations of this word, 2706 and 2708 (no, I cannot pronounce them or spell them out here so if ya wanna see them you will have to look them up). Remember, our word is the "2706" Hebrew word. Now that we are past the tutorial portion of my research - aren't you proud, Mom? - I will let you know what I discovered in case you can't actually look it up right at the moment.

2706 - "statute; prescription; rule; law; regulation."

I find it interesting that "prescription" is in there because so often when we think of "rule" or "law" we get a negative picture. As if there is a strict dictator hovering over us waiting to pounce. But what if you think of it as a "prescription" to help you get better? A mental image of the doctor handing me a prescription for Tamiflu came to mind; what a relief that piece of paper was and oh the hope it brought me!

So, through affliction, we learn His prescriptions: what to do to become better. That is not a negative thing at all!

Vine's goes on to say that 2706 also has synonyms such as commandment, judgment, covenant, law, and testimony.

Here, the word "covenant" jumped out at me. Our God is a covenant God. The Bible is full of His covenants, and yes they apply to us today. This word emphasizes the authority and grace of God in making and keeping His covenants. It gives me a sense of security; and reminds me of all the promises I have in Him. God will be faithful to His word. There is hope in His covenants.

So, in a way, Psalm 119:71 is also saying that through affliction we learn His covenants. Affliction actually gives us hope as we are brought to total dependence on His Covenant to see us through.

Wow, God. So my next prayer is "Let my heart be sound in Thy statutes; that I be not ashamed." (vs. 80) May I walk continually and more fully in Your covenant grace.

If you want to continue researching, check out the words "covenant" and "affliction."

btw: you can also check out Strong's concordance and Vine's Dictionary online if you don't have the heavyweight hard copy edition :)

my heart's cry

Psalm 70
Make haste, O God to deliver me; make haste to help me, O Lord.
Let them be ashamed and confounded that seek after my soul; let them be turned backward, and put to confusion, that desire my hurt.
Let them be turned back for a reward, and put to confusion that desire my hurt.
Let them be turned back for a reward of their shame that say, Aha, aha.
Let all those that seek Thee rejoice and be glad in Thee: and let such as love Thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.
But I am poor and needy; make haste unto me, O God: Thou art my Help and my Deliverer; O Lord, make no tarrying.


Psalm 130
Out of the depths have I cried unto thee; O Lord.
Lord, hear my voice; let Thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
If Thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
But there is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope.
My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.
Let Israel hope in the Lord: for with the Lord there is mercy and with Him is plenteous redemption.
And He shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

Happenings

This week...

...I put in 40 hours at work; haven't done that in about 6 weeks.

...I realized I have put 10,000 miles on my car since I bought it 7 months ago.

...I went to a Taste of Home Cooking Show with my aunt and cousin (and then to Panera for pastries afterwards!).

...I spent some time with a bunch of family who came Friday to celebrate my grandma's birthday.

...I got to hold my cousin's baby. :) :) :)

...I slept in until 9:45am Saturday!!!

...I had a really good conversation with my cousin about life in the twenties and all of the struggles, uncertainties, and major upheavals that it brings. She really encouraged me to keep pushing through all the junk and she helped me gain a new perspective.




These pictures I took on my phone don't do Bodey justice...he is way cuter than my phone is depicting! He is almost 6 months old and is such a content little boy. I will never get tired of his smile.

Kid therapy. That's what I call it. There's just something about them that helps my heart when I'm struggling. They remind me that there is still something to smile about. Praise God for new life. How very, very precious each one is! I know busy mommies long for a moment of quiet and time alone, but since I live alone I cherish the few moments that I have with kiddos. Wednesday nights with the 3-5 year olds and the funny things they say and do - yes, that's the highlight of my week. Even this week when I was so tired from the "stuff" of this week, I still dragged myself in there. I was so glad I did; they made me smile.

March 2

Something really weird happened to me last night…actually I think it was early this morning. I think it happened in my dream, but I’m not sure. It could have been when I was in my half-asleep state at 4 a.m. (I have been waking up at the same time every morning for the last few days now and I have no idea why. I go through my prayer list thinking that maybe there is someone who needs prayer at four in the morning. If it is you, let me know!! I am quite puzzled by this strange occurrence that seems to be becoming a habit.)

I remember thinking “Today is March 2nd.” That thought (whether conscious or not) was then followed by a deep impression that the date was important. As if some life-changing event in my history happened on that date. I shuffled through all available files in my brain (for some reason, it doesn’t seem like very many files are available in the middle of the night) for a clue as to the significance of March 2nd.

No birthdays...no anniversaries…certainly not a holiday.

3/2/11?? Is it because the numbers descend numerically? No, that’s not it…something deep inside is telling me something happened on this date. Must have been traumatic because it’s keeping me awake!

I kept pondering this as I got ready for work a few hours later.

Suddenly, while I was at work, at 8:35 a.m., it came to me: March 2, 2009 was my first day at the accounting firm. Yep, that was traumatic!

I was so naïve as I walked through those doors on that morning two years ago. Who in their right mind would start a new job at an accounting firm a mere 13 days before corporate returns are due and precious few weeks before personals? I was in for the ride of my life and no one even told me to hold on tightly!

Some words that come to mind are: pandemonium, chaos, breakdown, C-R-A-Z-Y.

What was I thinking??? Someone please remind me again why I love accounting and cried tears of joy when I landed this job??

Go ahead, you can laugh. I am too…now. I had so much to learn, and that little girl that walked in there that day didn’t even know what hit her. I came out of it a changed person, and I have sooo much experience now. I am very grateful not only for that, but that God carried me through every step of every day. I would not have survived otherwise.

I wouldn’t re-do it. I would certainly not want to re-live those days, but I don’t think I would file an amendment and go back to change it if I was given the chance. God knows what He is doing, and I am quite sure that the experience I gained will continue to come in handy.

My condolences and best wishes to all accountants during this time.

Psalm 73

Surely God is good to Israel,

to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;

I had nearly lost my foothold.

For I envied the arrogant

when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

They have no struggles;

their bodies are healthy and strong.

They are free from the burdens common to man;

they are not plagued by human ills.

Therefore pride is their necklace;

they clothe themselves with violence.

From their callous hearts comes iniquity;

the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

They scoff, and speak with malice;

in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

Their mouths lay claim to heaven,

and their tongues take possession of the earth.

Therefore their people turn to them

and drink up waters in abundance.

They say, "How can God know?

Does the Most High have knowledge?"

This is what the wicked are like-

always carefree, they increase in wealth.

Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;

in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning.

If I had said, "I will speak thus,"

I would have betrayed Your children.

When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me

till I entered the sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny.

Surely You place them on slippery ground;

You cast them down to ruin.

How suddenly are they destroyed,

completely swept away by terrors!

As a dream when one awakes,

so when You arise, O Lord,

You will despise them as fantasies.

When my heart was grieved

and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before You.

Yet I am always with You;

You hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with Your counsel,

and afterward You will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

And earth has nothing I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

Those who are far from You will perish;

You destroy all who are unfaithful to You.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

I will tell of all Your deeds.